The Third Embryo Transfer: When Hope Gets Harder
Three transfers in. Two failures behind him. A gay dad's honest account of what it takes to keep going when the process keeps saying no.
By the third transfer, hope is a discipline. It doesn't come naturally anymore. You have to choose it — deliberately, consciously, against the evidence of what's happened before.
What Two Failures Teach You
They teach you that the process is not fair. That doing everything right doesn't guarantee the outcome you want. That your body — or in this case, someone else's body, carrying your embryo — has its own timeline.
They also teach you what you're made of. Each failure is a choice point: do you stop, or do you go again? I kept going. Not because I was brave. Because I couldn't imagine the alternative.
The Protocol Changes
After two failed transfers, my clinic adjusted the protocol. Different medications, different timing, additional testing. The science of IVF is iterative — each cycle gives your team more information about what might work.
I trusted my clinic. That trust was earned through communication, transparency, and the fact that they treated me like a partner in the process, not just a patient.
The World Is Theirs
A real dad's guide to traveling with kids — blowouts, layovers, and all. Free instant download.
The Third Result
Failed. Three for three.
I took two weeks off from thinking about it. Then I called my agency and said: I'm ready to try again.
Joseph Tito
Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.