Finding a Surrogacy Agency as a Gay Dad
Finding the right surrogacy agency as a gay dad means looking beyond the brochure. Here's what to actually ask — and what the answers tell you.
Every surrogacy agency will tell you they're inclusive. Fewer will show you the receipts. Here's how to find an agency that actually knows what it's doing when it comes to gay intended parents.
What to Look For
Experience with gay intended parents. Not just a rainbow flag on the website — actual case studies, testimonials, and a track record. Ask how many gay dads they've worked with. Ask what specific challenges came up and how they handled them.
Transparent pricing. If an agency can't give you a clear cost breakdown before you sign, that's a red flag. You should know exactly what's included, what's extra, and what happens financially if a transfer fails.
Questions Most People Don't Ask
What happens if the surrogate's insurance doesn't cover surrogacy? Who pays? How is the escrow account managed? What's the agency's policy on selective reduction? What support do they offer after the baby is born?
These aren't comfortable questions. Ask them anyway. The agency's willingness to answer them honestly tells you more than their marketing ever will.
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Red Flags
Pressure to sign quickly. Vague answers about costs. No independent legal counsel for the surrogate. A matching process that feels rushed or impersonal.
And the biggest red flag: an agency that treats your journey as a transaction rather than a relationship. Surrogacy is deeply personal. Your agency should treat it that way.
My Experience
I went through a full-service agency for my surrogacy journey. It wasn't perfect — no agency is. But having a team that had done this hundreds of times gave me confidence in a process that was otherwise terrifying.
The agency fee was significant. But the peace of mind was worth it. Especially as a single gay dad navigating this for the first time.
Joseph Tito
Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.