The moment of finding out surrogacy worked
Surrogacy Journey· January 1, 2025

Holy Sh*t. I'm Going to Be a Dad.

The moment it became real. A gay man's raw account of the day he found out surrogacy worked — and everything changed.

The Call

The phone rang at 2:47pm on a Tuesday. I know because I've looked at my call log approximately 400 times since. It was the agency. 'The blood test came back positive.' Five words. Five words that split my life into before and after.

I sat on my kitchen floor for twenty minutes. Not crying. Not celebrating. Just... processing. After three years, five embryo transfers, and more money than I want to calculate — it worked. It actually worked.

The Fear That Follows Joy

Here's what nobody tells you: the positive test isn't the finish line. It's the starting gun for a whole new kind of anxiety. Is the pregnancy viable? Will the heartbeat be strong? Will something go wrong?

I spent the first trimester holding my breath. Every doctor's appointment was a referendum on whether my dream would survive another week. The joy and the terror coexisted in a way I'd never experienced.

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The Moment It Became Real

The first ultrasound. Two heartbeats. Twins. I was going to be a dad — of two. The doctor smiled. I cried. The surrogate laughed. And somewhere in that room, my old life ended and my real life began.

I drove home in silence. No music. No podcast. Just the sound of my own breathing and the knowledge that everything — everything — was about to change.

Joseph Tito

Joseph Tito

Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.