Holy Sh*t. I'm Going to Be a Dad.
The phone rang at 2:47pm on a Tuesday. Five words from the agency, and everything changed. The day I found out surrogacy had worked and I'd be a dad.
The Call
The phone rang at 2:47pm on a Tuesday. I know because I've looked at my call log approximately 400 times since. It was the agency. 'The blood test came back positive.' Five words. Five words that split my life into before and after.
I sat on my kitchen floor for twenty minutes. Not crying. Not celebrating. Just... processing. After three years, five embryo transfers , and more money than I want to calculate — it worked. It actually worked.
The Fear That Follows Joy
Here's what nobody tells you: the positive test isn't the finish line. It's the starting gun for a whole new kind of anxiety. Is the pregnancy viable? Will the heartbeat be strong? Will something go wrong?
I spent the first trimester holding my breath. Every doctor's appointment was a referendum on whether my dream would survive another week. The joy and the terror coexisted in a way I'd never experienced.
The blog was the beginning. The book is the whole story.
Everything here started in my parents' basement at 3am. The Dad Diaries — the failed transfers, Kenya, the citizenship fight, and the postpartum depression nobody warns a father about — is published by Cormorant Books on 26 September.
The Moment It Became Real
The first ultrasound. Two heartbeats. Twins. I was going to be a dad — of two. The doctor smiled. I cried. The surrogate laughed. And somewhere in that room, my old life ended and my real life began .
I drove home in silence. No music. No podcast. Just the sound of my own breathing and the knowledge that everything — everything — was about to change.
Joseph Tito
Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.
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Stories from a gay dad raising twins. No advice you didn't ask for, no sponsored content — just honest modern fatherhood.