The Trip to Mombasa, Kenya

Mombasa, Kenya is where my twin daughters were born via surrogacy in late 2018. I traveled there as a single gay Canadian dad — 27 hours from home — to be present for their birth. This is the story of that trip: the cost, the beauty, the complexity, and what it meant to stand in the country that would give me my family.

Part of the reason I chose to do this journey in Kenya was the price point. Although still expensive — the process, trips, accommodations, legal fees, hospital fees — I spent about $65,000 USD. In comparison to the starting rate of $120,000 in North America.

But the hardest part was being 27 hours away from my babies. Having no control over anything and just sitting home preparing for the unknown. Coming early meant I could be there, present, ready — instead of scrambling to get on a plane the moment I got the call.

Waiting in Mombasa is a strange experience. You're in a beautiful place, surrounded by warmth and colour, and yet your entire nervous system is tuned to one frequency: are they okay? Is she okay? Is today the day?

I walked the beach. I called home. I ate food I couldn't name. And I waited. The waiting was its own kind of preparation — a forced surrender to the fact that some things are completely outside your control.

Three days in, I met my surrogate. I felt my daughters kick for the first time. And somewhere in that moment, the abstract became real. These weren't just embryos anymore. They weren't just a dream. For more on that meeting, read meeting my surrogate.

They were coming. And I was there.