Choosing Hope Over Hurdles: Why I Chose Kenya
You might be wondering, 'Why Kenya?' Let me take you through the decision-making process that led me there — and why choosing hope over hurdles was the only option I had.
Initially, I was drawn to the Kiran Infertility Center in Hyderabad, India, primarily due to its affordability. However, just when I was ready to embark on this journey, India introduced a new law. It required at least one of the intended parents to have an Indian passport — a criterion I didn't meet. This left me with a few options: Kenya, Ukraine, and Laos.
Why Kenya Made Sense
Kenya's current surrogacy legislation is surprisingly welcoming, making it a popular destination for what's known as 'reproductive tourism.' It's particularly noted for its Egg Donation and Surrogacy Programs. The total cost? Around $45,000 USD for the entire surrogacy process using donor eggs from various ethnic backgrounds.
Another convenient option Kenya offers is the ability to send frozen sperm or embryos — a great alternative if travelling for the initial visit isn't feasible. They also have a Multiple Embryo Transfer Guaranteed Surrogacy program, which caught my attention immediately.
Why Ukraine and Laos Didn't Work
Ukraine is one of the few countries where laws explicitly support and regulate surrogacy and egg donation. The cost of their program hovers around $42,000 USD. However, there's a significant catch: only married heterosexual couples are eligible. That ruled me out entirely. For a deeper look at international surrogacy options for gay dads, I've written a full guide.
Laos is a relatively new player in the surrogacy arena with no specific surrogacy law. The surrogate mother's name initially appears on the birth certificate, then she relinquishes her rights. The cost is around $60,000 USD excluding egg donors — and the legal uncertainty made me nervous.
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The Cost Reality
Part of the reason I chose to do this journey in Kenya was the price point. Although still expensive — the process, trips, accommodations, legal fees, hospital fees — I spent about $65,000 USD total. In comparison to the starting rate of $120,000 in North America.
But the hardest part wasn't the cost. It was being 27 hours away from my babies. Having no control over anything and just sitting home preparing for the unknown.
Choosing Hope
Every obstacle felt like a door closing. India said no. Ukraine said no. And yet here I was, finding a path forward through Kenya — a country I'd never visited, with a clinic I'd only researched online, trusting a process I couldn't fully control. That's what the legal landscape for gay dads looks like — a patchwork of yeses and nos.
That's what choosing hope looks like. Not a clean, confident leap. A messy, terrified step forward because the alternative — giving up on becoming a dad — was never an option.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why did Joseph Tito choose Kenya for surrogacy?
Kenya offered a welcoming legal framework for international intended parents, including single gay men. The total cost was approximately $65,000 USD — significantly less than the $120,000+ starting rate in North America.
Is surrogacy legal in Kenya for gay dads?
Kenya's surrogacy legislation is relatively welcoming compared to many countries, and does not restrict intended parents based on marital status or sexual orientation in the same way that Ukraine or other countries do.
Joseph Tito
Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.