Why I Take My Kids to Places That Challenge Them
Comfort zones are fine. But the moments my daughters have grown the most have always happened somewhere unfamiliar. That's not an accident.
I don't take my daughters to easy places. Not exclusively, anyway. I take them to places where things are different — where the food is unfamiliar, where the language isn't theirs, where the rules of daily life are slightly different from what they know. Not to challenge them for the sake of challenge. Because that's where growth happens.
What 'Challenging' Actually Means
I don't mean difficult or unsafe. I mean unfamiliar. A restaurant where they can't read the menu. A market where the sounds and smells are new. A place where they have to ask for help and the person helping them doesn't speak the same language.
These moments are uncomfortable for about five minutes. Then they become interesting. Then they become stories.
What Kids Learn from Unfamiliar Places
They learn that different isn't wrong. That the way we do things at home is one way, not the only way. That people live differently and eat differently and organize their days differently — and that this is fascinating, not threatening.
They also learn that they can handle more than they think. That the discomfort of the unfamiliar is survivable. That on the other side of 'I don't know how to do this' is usually something worth knowing.
The World Is Theirs
A real dad's guide to traveling with kids — blowouts, layovers, and all. Free instant download.
As a Gay Dad, This Matters Differently
My daughters are going to grow up in a world that sometimes questions their family. They're going to encounter people who think families like ours are unusual, or wrong, or worth commenting on.
I want them to be people who are comfortable with difference. Who understand that the world contains many ways of being, and that their way is one of them. Travel is one of the most effective ways I know to build that capacity. It connects to what it's really like raising kids as a gay dad — you're always teaching them how to move through a world that wasn't designed for your family.
The Practical Side
You don't need to go far. A neighborhood you've never visited. A restaurant that serves food you've never eaten. A cultural event that isn't yours. Challenge doesn't require a passport.
But if you can go far — go. The investment in a trip that takes your kids somewhere genuinely different pays dividends for years. In their worldview. In their confidence. In the stories they'll tell. For the logistics, the twin dad travel checklist is where I start every time.
What I've Noticed
My daughters are more adaptable than most kids their age. They're comfortable in new situations. They're curious about people who are different from them. They ask good questions.
I don't take full credit for this. But I do think the travel has something to do with it. The repeated experience of being somewhere new and figuring it out together — that builds something.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you prepare kids for culturally different destinations?
Talk about it before you go. Show them pictures. Explain what will be different. Kids handle unfamiliarity much better when they've been briefed. The surprise is what's hard — not the difference itself.
What if kids resist going somewhere unfamiliar?
Resistance is normal. Don't negotiate the destination — negotiate the experience. 'We're going, and here's what you'll get to do there.' Then follow through on the fun parts.
Joseph Tito
Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.