The First Big Trip: Taking My Daughters to Italy
I was their age when I lived in Italy. Years later, I brought my daughters back — to show them where I came from, and to feel the full-circle moment I never saw coming.
I was their age when I lived in Italy. I remember the school, the streets, the feeling of being somewhere that felt like home even though it wasn't. Years later, as an adult, I went back. I drove those same streets, lived that life, and I remember thinking — really believing — that I would never have kids. That wasn't my story.
Then I had twins.
And one day, I decided to take them back to Italy. Not for a vacation. For something that mattered.
Standing Where I Stood
Walking through those streets with my daughters felt like stepping into two versions of my life at once. Here I was, the man who swore he'd never be a father, holding the hands of the two people who changed that entire story. And we were standing in the place that shaped who I became.
I showed them my school. I pointed out the corners I used to turn, the routes I used to take. I watched their faces as they tried to understand that their dad was once their age, in this exact place, living a completely different life. A life that didn't include them.
That's the thing about being a present parent that nobody really talks about — you get to show your kids where you came from. Not just geographically, but who you were. The person you were before them. The person you never thought would become a dad.
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The Spectacular Moment
There's something truly spectacular about standing in a place that meant everything to you, and then standing there again with your kids. It's not the same place anymore. You're not the same person. But somehow, it all connects.
My daughters got to see a part of me that exists outside of being their dad. They got to understand that I had a whole life before them — a life I loved, a life I lived fully. And then I got to show them how that life led to them. Traveling with twins is chaos, but moments like this are why you do it.
That first big trip wasn't about the sights or the photos. It was about that moment when they understood: Dad was here. Dad had a story. And now we're part of it.
It was memorable. It was spectacular. It was exactly what I needed them to know.
Joseph Tito
Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.