Out September 26 — pre-order a signed copy
The Dad Diaries
Flat-pack cot parts laid out across a bare nursery floor
Surrogacy Journey· November 10, 2018

Preparing for the Twins

The final weeks before they arrived. The nursery was ready. The bags were packed. And I was as prepared as you can be for something that will completely undo you.

There's a specific kind of preparation that happens in the final weeks before your children arrive. It's not just practical — it's psychological. You're trying to get ready for something you can't fully imagine. You're trying to become someone you haven't been yet.

The Nursery

I built the nursery myself. Two cribs, side by side. A changing table. A rocking chair. I painted the walls a warm white and hung things on them that I hoped they'd like.

Standing in that room, alone, before they arrived — that was one of the strangest moments of the whole journey. The room was ready. They weren't here yet. The gap between those two things was enormous.

The Practical Preparation

I took a newborn care class. I read books. I talked to other parents of twins . I made lists of what I'd need in the first weeks — formula, diapers, wipes, the specific brand of pacifier that supposedly worked best.

None of it fully prepared me. Nothing can. But the preparation itself was important — it was a way of saying: I'm taking this seriously. I'm showing up.

The Memoir · Out September 26

The blog was the beginning. The book is the whole story.

Everything here started in my parents' basement at 3am. The Dad Diaries — the failed transfers, Kenya, the citizenship fight, and the postpartum depression nobody warns a father about — is published by Cormorant Books on 26 September.

Pre-order the Memoir

The Psychological Preparation

I talked to a therapist. I talked to friends who were parents. I tried to understand what I was walking into — not just the logistics, but the identity shift . The way becoming a parent changes who you are.

You can't fully prepare for that. But you can acknowledge it's coming. You can make space for it.

The Night Before

I flew to Kenya with one bag and a car seat. The night before the scheduled C-section, I sat in my hotel room and tried to sleep and couldn't. I wasn't scared, exactly. I was ready.

Ready in the way you can only be ready after years of working toward something. Not calm — certain. This was happening. Tomorrow, I would be a father.

Joseph Tito

Joseph Tito

Creator of The Dad Diaries. Gay dad of twins. Writing about fatherhood, surrogacy, and the beautiful mess of real life.

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