Things I Judged Before Becoming a Dad (And Deeply Regret Now)

I was going to be a no-screen parent. Educational toys only. Wooden blocks and nature walks. Then I discovered that 22 minutes of Bluey is the difference between cooking dinner and burning the house down. I've since written a whole piece on navigating screen time as a modern parent — because it deserves more nuance than any judgment I had before kids.

Screen time isn't lazy parenting. It's strategic parenting. And anyone who says otherwise hasn't tried to make pasta while two six-year-olds are having a meltdown.

I judged parents with picky eaters. I assumed it was a failure of exposure or effort. Then my daughter ate nothing but plain pasta for three months straight and I understood.

Kids have opinions. Strong, irrational, deeply held opinions about food. You can expose them to everything and they'll still choose chicken nuggets. And that's fine.

I thought I'd be a patient parent. Calm. Zen. The dad who never raises his voice. Then sleep deprivation happened. And tantrums. And the fifteenth 'why?' in a row. That's when I understood parenting burnout on a personal level.

Patience isn't a personality trait. It's a resource. And like any resource, it runs out. The goal isn't to never lose it — it's to repair when you do.

Every parent is doing their best with what they have. The judgments we make before kids are based on fantasy. The reality is messier, harder, and more beautiful than anything I imagined.

Now when I see a parent struggling in public, I don't judge. I nod. Because I've been there. We all have.